Hello sleepless nights and the zombie like state

Me and Sally
The poxy changing rooms
Sally, mark and jane
Wonderful Zoe

Flyering town
The witches of eastwick???
Set taking shape
Neville the real star
Drunken goodness

Well the show is finaly upon us and all that hard work and sweat and blood and guts and toil is finally paying off. So far this week we have been rehearsing every single night at the guild hall under the beady eye of george, our own mr jobsworthy who i get the feeling from doesnt much like this bunch of actors desicrating the historical guildhall! We are not allowed any power for the lights until 530 when the council workers have gone home otherwise we will blow the fuses! this means that mark and the other techies have about 1 1/2 hours to make sure every thing is set and programmed and thats being generous. The first half dress reahearsal finished at about 1020pm so not that bad really, jobsworthy wants us out by 1030 each evening so not impossible. Then came lastnights 2nd half dress rehearsal.......um yeah we finished at about 1055pm! Jobsworthy was looking mighty scary by the curtain call. And as with al the greatest productions we high tail it to the local watering hole, the judges lodgings. All i can say is thnk heavens for late licencing. The people of york dont know whats hit them when we all sit outside (thats about 20-30 of us!) and laugh about the lastest mishaps on stage. A few points of interest are Robin as clifford during the jack cade riot scenes looking like a cross between Blade and a reject from the blue oyster bar. You try to keep a straight face when he come on but it gets increasingly difficult when you can hear mark the director laughing hysterically and i look to sally and andy and can hear them both clearly wispering 'must not laugh, must not laugh'. You can see why young clifford turns in to the child killer he is later in the play when you have a dad like that! A few other things happened such as missed entrances and even no show soldiers to cart off the captured henry leaving bill to improvise as edward and through poor jonathon off stage! Lets see what delights tonights actually performance brings or if indeed we will have an audience to play to???

Life Through a Lens

Life can be a funny ole thing. I mean you are born you live you die. Being born and dying are easy. Its living that seems to be hard, trying to find your place amongst billions of others. I seem to be going through another downer again, i expect it to last only a day though as i havent got the time at the mo to concentrate on being depressed. Promoting the play, rehearsing the play, working , eating, sleeping then running the play! Thats my life for the next few weeks. Thank god i am taking some time off work for it all. Then i have to worry about getting more extra work as i desperately need money for school, the restaurant that i was at havent had any hours for me for the last 3 weeks and its hitting me hard. Cant do much about it till after the play. I was pleased with last nights rehearsal as for the first time i felt like i wasnt bex saying lines pretending to be a character but rather i really got into the character became it almost. I loved it, i came of stage feeling lightheaded and flushed in the cheeks and the buzz was something else. I just hope that i can be good enough to earn a living at this when i complete the school. I am a worrier and am i am worrying a lot about whats gonna happen after school. I wanna stay in canada but this could prove nigh on impossible, do i go to london along with thousands of other hopefuls? Ugh i do have times when i feel i am not good enough and i still have a niggling doubt at the back of my mind as to why exactly i have been excepted to the school. But thats just me.
I have been told a few times that i am doing good moving away, my mum told me that its great as i have nothing here. I am sure she ment i have no ties to keep me and not that i wasnt wanted. But what of that as well. She is right i have no one and some times i wish that i did have someone that could make me happy, truly happy and not content like i seem to be most of the time! Like i say i shall get myself out of this funk this weekend and i shall be back to being the happy go lucky person people think i am!